2020 had passed. As we enter 2021 with new hopes and dreams, one thing we can't ignore is our state of life at the moment.
I have always been a hopeful, optimistic, glass half full kind of person. However, there is no denying that 2020 was such a bleak year. Even though I managed to fulfil some of my new year resolutions in 2020, it still feels like I'm not accomplishing enough.
There is a lingering guilty feeling each time I scroll through social media. Strange things are happening every day. And if we were to push pandemic aside, 2020 was not kind either. I was so hopeful at the beginning because I thought 2020 would be the year where I began my career. Not that it was bad either, but I wish it could've gone better. Now I am unemployed; working as a content writer freelancer and managing a small online business. Well, I guess I'm not fully unemployed.
I turned 23 last year. If you ask my 13 year old self, I would have said, "10 years later, I think I already have my life figured out". Well, guess what? I still have no idea what my life would be. I still have no idea what I want to achieve in life. I know I have goals, but they are temporary and may change as I get older. Honestly, sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing, at all.
They say, living through 20s should be the time where you are lost and still trying to navigate life. I guess that's what I'm doing right now. I may not know what I want, yet, in terms of professional occupation, career, marriage, etc, but leastwise I know that I just want to be happy mentally and physically.
My current situation now? I am still looking for a job, recently broke up with my boyfriend, tired and unable to focus on work, mind scattered all over the place. This is a post to remind me, maybe a year from now, that things will eventually be okay. I am such a believer that I am where I am right now because God put me in this position to learn. If it all worked out, alhamdulillah, if it didn't, then I learn my lesson. This is the journey I have to live. I may not have control over things that happened in the past, but I have control of what will happen in the future. I hope everyone who reads this also feels the same kind of assurance I've been telling myself for my whole life. I hope we all will be okay, one day, soon.
